Assignment No.3 - 2nd Draft by Joontae Kim

                What Kinds of Friends Do You Have?

 

      What is one thing you cannot live without? Some people would say it is money while others may tell you that it is a house. For me, it is my friends. Since I am living alone away from my parents, my friends have become someone who I can count on, get inspiration from as well as keep each other company. Then, are all friends possess same qualities and characteristics? I do not think so. I think friends can be categorized into these three according to their dynamics. There are a friend for benefit which refers to a friend who we take advantage and vice versa, a frenemy that is a friend who we constantly compete with, and a genuine friend who really cares for you and helps you when needed.

 

      First, there is a friend for benefit. It is a kind of friend we keep in touch just in case we have a favor to ask. For example, I would hang out with students majoring in Spanish or students taking same class with me. It is because I may miss a class and need to borrow notes from them, need a partner to prepare for the presentation and final exam. Also, we may make friends with a colleague or keep in touch with a former colleague. When we think that it is impossible to meet the deadline of the project, we may be able to ask this type of friend for a help and return the favor someday. Also, we may ask our former colleagues for helpful data or sources once we used in our former workplace. Since it is a need-based friendship, it is weak and may fade away once we feel that it is unnecessary to maintain the relationship.

 

      I have a 15-year-long friend called Jongsu. I have known him since he transferred to my middle school. Ever since we got close, we have argued with one another constantly, competed for awards, and even got into fist fights a couple times. Although it seems like we are just rivals or competitors rather than friends, we have a lot of things in common as well. For example, we possess similar taste for music and art, love for the 19th century American literature as well as a craving for extra spicy food. Therefore, we talk about our common interests and eat out together from time to time. We share a dynamic that is often seen between the frenemies, friends who are rivals or competitors at the same time. There is an old saying "Keep your friends close but your enemies closer". It basically means that we should watch over our enemies and try to understand them better in order to win. Nowadays, however, it has been changed to "Keep your friends close but your frenemies closer." I completely agree with this new version. We should make friends with our enemies if there are common interests and we can enjoy spending time together with them occasionally. Also, once we learn how to ease the tension between our frenemies, we may be able to improve ourselves using that tension as our source of motivation.

 

      Last but not least, there is a genuine friend. There is an old saying "A friend in need is a friend indeed." I think it illustrates what a genuine friend should be. A genuine friend is a type of friend that cares very much for wellbeing of his friends and willing to go beyond his limit to help them when it is necessary. A few years ago, I suffered from a severe spinal fractures and had to be hospitalized for a couple of weeks. Although I needed someone to take care of me, other family members of mine were living abroad because of my father's job. It was a time when I needed my friends the most. Some of them who I thought to be very close, however, completely neglected me making excuses such as "I am too busy! I don't even have the time to take care of myself." or "I am so sorry! Hospitals just make me nervous. I would rather not go." All those excuses, however, didn't stop Jaemin from visiting me at the hospital. Although Jaemin was working for an investment bank, notorious for its late working hours, he stopped by late at night to see how I was doing and asked me if I needed any help. After the incident, I come to know who is my real friend or not. Furthermore, the relationship with Jaemin reached another level where we are so comfortable with each other that we can share the deepest and darkest secretes with one another.

 

      As I have mentioned above, I believe that there are three kinds of friends: a friend we seek when we have a favor to ask, a friend who we hang out and compete with each other at the same time, and a friend who genuinely cares about you and helps you no matter what. Although we wish that every friend we have is genuine, it is very unlikely. Also, it is really hard to figure out who is a genuine friend until we encounter incidents such as an accident, hospitalization, or others. Therefore, my advice to you is that try to make as many friends as possible, follow where your heart leads you, and hope that he is as genuine as you are.