Song Minhee (200804046)
Professor Jon
English Writing
1 July 2010
Journey to Happiness
If someone asks you to grade your happiness index, how many points will you give to yourself concerning happiness? If you did, what are your standards on happiness? I know it's hard to grade about invisible, emotional thing. Then why don't you make your own touchstones? Today, I will show you my touchstones on happiness through my experience, which would be talking point. My happiness absolutely exist along with my own three canons; identity, responsibility, gratitude.
In your life, at least once, you including me may ask your self who I am. I didn't realize why such a question is so famous all over the world until 2007 when is my most meaningful year. Even though I slipped to enter a university, I believed myself to handle everything under the any circumstances. It may be so, but I felt weird to live a little bit different life from friends. I've lived for 19years with belonging to somewhere such as primary school, middle school, high school like any other friends. After graduate high school, however, I belong to no where overnight. Looking back on it now, I slightly suffered from depression for a while because of stress from different life. And finally I found out who I am. The answer was I'm just a normal 20 years old girl as well as I'm thirsty for knowledge strongly. I was so happy to know what I want, what I want to be, and what I should do. Making identity clear is the first way to happiness.
As you know, a university forces us to be adults whether we are ready to be or not. All things around us depend on our performances from deciding something to managing time. We don't have any place to get back. That's why we have to face any challenges. Regardless of results, we should take them themselves. I'm saying the more important thing is doing something with responsibility. When I worked at espresso bar, I felt pressures to manage the bar. But the reason I did great job is my responsibility. It was my responsibility that got over the burden. From now on, if you do something, you'd better have a great sense of responsibility. Then, without reference to its result, you deserve to feel happiness.
In your daily life, how many times do you express your gratitude a day? I think the person who can't say 'thank you' is the unhappiest in the world. There are a huge number of persons who help you day to day taking one with another. For instance, when you say hello or give thanks to bus driver, he will probably spend his day in happiness. And there are another large number of persons who want to live like you. In some ways, we have privileges that we are here to study English with the well-educated native professor in freezing spacious room in hot summer. In other words, the happiness extremely ordinary things bring you might give others a special feeling. Give thanks for everything.
What do you think of my three standards? Did I argue about too trivial matters? Because I think the happiness is just one thing out of our whole life. Even though I mentioned only three things which make me happy: identity, responsibility, gratitude, you could add more. Creating happiness is conditional on how you do. And we may keep travel to happiness as we did during last thousands years
guys, plz give me helpful commentS!!
ReplyDeleteI suffur from lack of idea to develop this!
I think that anecdote always bring sympathy and is more impressive like this one.
ReplyDeleteHappiness is quite ambiguous thing and so difficult to explain, so it's a good way that address your point of view.
In addition, I totally agree with your opinion about happiness, so I liked your sentence >>"the happiness is extremely ordinary things bring you might give others a special feeling."(in your paragraph)
However, it's little bit confusing readers when "YOU" is in the essay - You had better find another alternative pronoun.
Plus, It had better you don't use "BUT" in front of sentence.
in your essay >When I worked at espresso bar, I felt pressures to manage the bar. But the reason I did great job is my responsibility
you can use 'although or though' instead of 'but'
like this> My responsibility made I did great job, even though I felt pressure when I worked at espresso bar. or something
Like wise, you'd better not use because in front of sentence unless you write another clause right after at the end of 'because clause'.
in your paragraph >>Because I think the happiness is just one thing out of our whole life.
you'd better use ','instead of '.' and then write an appropriate clause, right after','.
thank you Sung Kyoung, what you pointed out are absolutely what I worry about. And it was hard to find another way to express, especially 'YOU'. So I need more advice about dealing with pronoun. If you will not miss tomorrow class, I hope you to give me details to avoid pronoun problems. :D
ReplyDeleteTo Min Hee from Jaehoon Assignment 2
ReplyDeleteTo my enjoy, I read your essay.
Reading this essay, I saw how to be happy form your experience. Then, your main point seems to advice about how we can be happy.
For me, your three canons are my favorites in your essay, because you gave me specific three things to be happy. However, the Second body paragrah is little bit unclear for me. I recommand you to write how you felt happy on account of your job.
In addition, I suggest you to describe more what made you feel so happy when your three canons are working.