What is to blame for volcanic eruption?
200901747 Shin Myungchul
6/22
First Draft
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Volcanic eruption has always been a threat to human being, whether in ancient times or in modern times. For example, A.D. 79, Mt. Vesuvius, Italy erupted and erased Pompeii out of the map. And a couple of month before, a volcanic eruption in Iceland halted hundreds of thousands of flight schedule. How come this magnificant power can be exhaled from earth? Volcanic eruption is mainly due to fluctation of earth.
Almost all causes of volcanic eruptions are natural. Mantle, which bolsters crest is a liquified solid materials which flows beneath earth, and this combination of mantle and crest is so what called plate. Since these plates slowly move, they eventually collide with each other and in the process they makes strong shaking which is earthquake. Earthquake gives pressure to magma beneath the crest, and suppressed magma finds way to get out. So, fragile part of the crest is crashed by magma and magma start to burt out. This is the most common mechanism of volcanic eruption.
As well as plate fluctation, some other natural factors can be a fuse of volcanic eruption. For instance, some scientists suggest a theory that the global warming is a cause of Iceland volcanic eruption. Meltdown of glaciers due to warm climate lowers the pressure to magma, which can make eruption more easier. Flooding can be a cause for eruption. Merapi Volcano, located in Indonesia bursted because of the heavy flood.
Human being can also provoke eruption. Lusi volcano, also in Indonesia erupted on March, 2006 and reseachers are pointing fingers at reckless gas mining. Cracks of the underground gas pipe led to a leaking of gas and that accident is said to be a culprit of eruption.
Volcanic eruption is a tragic calamity. That much is clear. To successfully reduce the aftermath of eruption, preparations is needed. For natural cause, well-organised warning system based on thorough speculation should always be at service any time. And for man-made cause, drastic prior examination for exploitation must be needed. Since volcanic eruption is such an gigantic disaster which can not be prevented, complete provision is impossible. Instead, lessen the impact of volcanic eruption is surely possible. Handling the volcanic eruption can save millions of fortune and lives, so nothing is more important than this sublime work.
1. I liked this writing because it was fairly easy to read although it was an essay on specific field of scienece. Also, it gives out great description for the process of the volcanic eruption caused by the natural fluctuation, a main cause.
ReplyDelete2. Your main point seems to be "A main cause for a volcanic eruption is the natural fluctuation of the earth."
3-1. "Erase ~ out of map"
=> I like this expression because it stresses out the gravity of problem the writer is about to present.
3-2. "Be pointing fingers at"
=> Use of this expression perfectly suits the situation and it emphasizes the meaning as well.
4-1. "This combination of mantle and crest is so what called plate."
=> I could guess what it would probably mean but still it is grammatically incorrect.
4-2. "A.D. 79, Mt.Versuvius, Italy"
=> I would have used some sort of propositions in order to make its meaning more clear.
5. I would consider rewriting the conclusion part of the essay because it basically focuses on the provision of eruption which was not a main topic of the essay. It feels as if the topic has been changed from causes for volcanic eruption to the provision of the volcanic eruption. Although I think it is a good idea to give some insights on provision at the end of the essay, readdressing the major causes of the volcanic eruption should come first.