200503193 조성경
It's my first academic essay in English in a way, It took so long time.
I checked it thousands times but there might be mistake on this shit.
If somebody knows about articles please make correct them , article is awful.
A volcano eruption is a phenomenon that magma flows up from under the earth to the surface. According to a myth or fairy tales the ancient people regard a volcano eruption as the anger of the god. Whenever the explosion occurred, people reckoned the god wanted to punish them. However the real cause is just natural reaction among elements under the earth, as everybody knows.
The most common cause of eruption is high-pressure.Because magma has massive gas, so it can be easily gushed out if it has enough stress and the stress is come from common friction. While the oceanic crust is going into continental crust, friction occurs and then the friction generates extreme pressure. This procedure usually happens in a volcanic belt such as the ring of fire in the Pacific Ocean.
Next, there is a special case that causes the eruption; It is the earthquake. No every earthquake is cause of the spouting of magma. If the earthquake occurs on the plate which is not strong, the earthquake becomes a factor of the burst. When the plates bump each other by shaking, it generates high temperature as well as high pressure. Finally the volcano becomes burst out because the magma is changed into fluid which is usually solid in the low temperature.
The last factor is the rarest one; It's global warming. The catastrophe of Iceland is a good example.I already explained high pressure is one of factors above, conversely Iceland's one break out for pressure was too loosen. Originally a huge glacier had pushed a volcanic strata for a long time, but the glacier melt out fast and magma's formation activated. A few years ago some scientist established theory that global warming stimulates volcano eruption, yet nobody didn't care about it till Iceland erupted. If somebody had listend it carefully, Iceland could have prepared the calamity.
Nowadays people found out those factors; pressure and heat. In addition they established a number of theory about volcano like global warming theory. Even though people study factors of a volcano eruption, it is impossible to stop or remove them and the geographers cannot estimate everything. Thinking how powerless we are in front of natural itself, I thought the ancient people might be right in a way.
I forgot to attach topic ㄱ-
ReplyDeleteTopic is " what makes a volcano erupt "
sorry
To Sungkyung from hyunmn
ReplyDeleteI like the way you start your essay. Mentioning ancient people's point of view makes your essay more attractive. It is good hook.
And my favorite line in your essay is "Thinking how powerless we are in front of natural itself"
It is very impressive for me. I totally agree with you.
However, I couldn't understand this line "Iceland's one break out for pressure was too loosen."
overall you did a good job~^^
1. Including myth about volcano eruption in the introduction was a brilliant idea. I think it draws attention of reader and helps reader to grasp what others thought about the topic as well. Also, I like that you have included many examples that supports your findings in your essay.
ReplyDelete2. Your main point seems to be "A volcano eruption is caused by high-pressure, earthquake and global warming."
3-1. "Anger of God"
=> I like this expression because it not only implies that the cause of a volcano eruption is natural but also sounds interesting.
3-2. "How powerless we are in front of natural itself"
=> I like the idea behind this praise in that the human beings are small part of nature and cannot have a control over it.
4-1. "The volcano becomes burst out"
=> Erupt would have been a better choice than 'becomes burst out'. I think volcano erupts and magma bursts out.
5. The essay seems to run logically so I have nothing to comment on it. I just wish that you would put more effort on grammar and word choice so that your logic would not be distracted.